It's interesting to look at how abusive, high control groups seek to rationalize shunning to make it seem a legitimate approach in their dealings with other human beings. They cast mercy, compassion and forgiveness aside, but consider their organizations righteous and "loving."
Many rationales have been advanced to justify shunning. It is touted as:
- loving discipline
- it will help someone "come to their senses"
- it will help someone "return to God"
- the claim is made that the person being shunned is the one who is actually doing the shunning.
In all of these rationalizations, assumptions are presented as fact.
Loving Discipline
It should be obvious that cutting someone off for years or for a lifetime is not a loving act but one of passive aggression and coercion, one that is arbitrary and that tries to force another person to act in a certain way, to conform to certain requirements.
Helping Someone Come to Their Senses
This makes the assumption that the other person is wrong and needs to change their thinking and their ways. Once again, this is a one-sided dynamic that only offers one acceptable way of thinking and being.
Helping Someone Return to God
This is a humdinger, since a person can believe differently or leave a particular faith group and still very much believe in God. Shunning groups however will quite often claim that someone who leaves their group has left God. This is very convenient and serves group interests.
The Shunned is the Shunner
This is a classic "blame the victim" scenario where those who are doing the victimizing claim to be the victims. No pity is shown for their victim but they play the part of the victimized. "He or she left us."
It's interesting the lengths abusive organizations will go to justify extremist, harmful behavior and the offering of "conditional love."
A One-Sided Predigested Viewpoint in 2016 Shunning Video
In the video below, a classic one-sided viewpoint is presented, wherein the daughter Sonja isn't free to fall in love with someone outside of her parents' religion, so instead of her parents respecting her choices, she is shunned and cut off from her family. And this continues for years until she "comes to her senses."
In a master stroke of propaganda, viewers are purposely stirred to pity for the parents, not Sonja. They hear how the parents have been so hurt by the terrible psychological torment they are inflicting on their daughter. Little to no mention is made of how being shunned affects Sonja, of how psychologically devastating it might be to her, of how having zero contact with her family just might be incredibly hard to deal with. Many who have been treated this way have, in fact, committed suicide.
Predictably, after years of being ignored and treated as if she doesn't exist, Sonja does what is demanded of her and returns to her parents' religion. This is all wrapped up and tied with bow, and the video ends in that returning is presented as the only acceptable choice for Sonja: "... if they had associated with me, even a little, just to check on me, ... it could have made me think there was no need to return to Jehovah."
And that is the intended take-away for viewers.
A One-Sided Predigested Viewpoint in 2016 Shunning Video
In the video below, a classic one-sided viewpoint is presented, wherein the daughter Sonja isn't free to fall in love with someone outside of her parents' religion, so instead of her parents respecting her choices, she is shunned and cut off from her family. And this continues for years until she "comes to her senses."
In a master stroke of propaganda, viewers are purposely stirred to pity for the parents, not Sonja. They hear how the parents have been so hurt by the terrible psychological torment they are inflicting on their daughter. Little to no mention is made of how being shunned affects Sonja, of how psychologically devastating it might be to her, of how having zero contact with her family just might be incredibly hard to deal with. Many who have been treated this way have, in fact, committed suicide.
Predictably, after years of being ignored and treated as if she doesn't exist, Sonja does what is demanded of her and returns to her parents' religion. This is all wrapped up and tied with bow, and the video ends in that returning is presented as the only acceptable choice for Sonja: "... if they had associated with me, even a little, just to check on me, ... it could have made me think there was no need to return to Jehovah."
And that is the intended take-away for viewers.
